December 28, 2005

A French Revolution in Saudi Arabia

After ranting on about my brief discussion with "Average Moe" at the restaurant the other day, it seems word got around to the king. Oh well, let me believe that what I feel or think could have some impact even on the likes of royalty.

Now then, to the news. According to Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet , crown prince Sultan of Saudi Arabia told Swedish television that women in Saudi could be allowed to get drivers licenses, if the men in their lives agree to it.

-When fathers, husbands and brothers ask us to let women drive, then we shall consider the issue. But, if they ask us to prevent it, then we cannot force them to accept it, Sultan says.

Apparently recently inaugurated king Abdullah has said that he wishes to increase women's ability to move around in order to stimulate economic growth. Right, so now that things are going down the drain economically for Saudi (black gold running out), it's time to let out the cattle from the farms, and milk them for what it's worth. Naturally under the supervision of the "farmers" (i.e. men).

For you see, the leaders and learned of Saudi Arabia have expressed a concern that letting women drive might lead them to trying to access men outside of their homes and (as they often assure us), it has nothing to do with the emancipation of women that being able to drive and have a license would lead to in such a country. (Right...)

No, indeed, the learned of Saudi are wise, they have tapped into our heads, and figured out what Mel Gibson couldn't; what women want! For those of you who didn’t know, our secret wish is to at any given chance, take out our car and drive to the first man we can think of, any Tom Dick or Harry will do. No no, I mean Taha, Dawoud or Haroon (anything else would be unthinkable). Preferably someone we have made some sort of acquaintance with, like the guy who sold us the onions? No wait, we only looked at him, our husband did the buying, hmm...then whom? How about our driver? Yes we could drive to see him? No wait, he has the car plus he lives in the servant’s quarters. Ah well, I guess we will just have to sit that one out, mission accomplished Saudi legislators! Masha'Allah! (what God willed)

I have a suggestion for all Saudi women; it's time for a revolution! Yes you heard me. Bring out the guillotine (in the form of kitchen knives that do an excellent job on tomatoes), guns (in the form of the latest version of blow-dryers) and don't forget to claim the code; Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité! You are to tell the men in your lives (and the king), that you are not able to work outside your home and contribute to the economic growth of society because it is against your fitra (human predisposition). Don't forget to quote some of the leading wahabi scholars; I'm sure you will find heaps of material for your defence.

-Fraternize with your kitchen utensils and chop your husband up a lovely salad, Tabbouleh perhaps? That knife of yours will chop up those tomatoes in small squares before you can say "Help". (Oh and if you don't have a husband, a brother or father will do just fine.)

-Equalize yourself to that of a servant (for what could possibly be better than to serve your husband?) And last but not least:

-Liberalize yourself just enough to pull out the blow-dryer and fix your hair in the latest western hairdo (for even the learned wahabis don't mind you getting all dolled up á la Hollywood, as long as it's for your husband).

Vive le reverse psychology!


davenc said...

Shaykhspeara, you may be giving a whole new meaning to the notion of Desperate Housewives.

Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

Well dave, Wisteria Lane might be Hysteria Lane in Saudi anytime soon... ;)

Diligent Candy said...

I say - this is bloody brilliant...
Excellent idea!

Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

Thank you D Candy! You ready to pull out the hairdryer? ;)

the olive ream said...

tenaciously irreverent, absolutely relevant, and impeccably funny.
Well blogged indeed!

Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

I'm glad you stopped by! thank you :)

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