- If you happen to be a woman and still not gotten that driver's license although you're way past 25, don't fret. According to Wahabism in Saudi you ain't allowed to drive anyway so no more feeling embarrassed about your lack of license, instead you will gain the respect of your fellow Wahabis in not only not driving, but not knowing how to drive as well. What piety! (Arab News article here)
- If you're a man and you really wanna save money, Wahabism is the way to go. How you ask? Well, you can use your old pants, or even your younger sibling's or children's pants, because they are supposed to be short on you and reach just above your ankles. Now you don't have to feel embarrassed that you look like Steve Urkel, and also, imagine the money you save being able to use the pants you once wore when you were 12?
- If you're a girl and you happen to be lazy, I have the solution for you. Go Wahabi. Next time your mom tells you to go to the shop to buy milk you can simply say "Mom, I am not allowed to leave the home without a male member (mahram) of the family accompanying me". Now your brother will have to go every time while you sit at home chilling. Great isn't it?
- If you're a woman who is conscious about protecting your skin from ageing or even cancer, well then there is no better sun screen than wahabilotion. Make sure you find a nice thick cloth (preferably black and synthetic so you sweat to death in the 50 degree sunshine) and cover your whole body and face, one eye is allowed open for the sake of seeing where you're going although popping on a pair of black sunglasses will enhance the look. No wrinkles, no cancer.
- Last but not least, to all the unmarried girls out there who are tired of feeling compelled to exercise and learn Pilates, yoga (haram haram) and aerobics, Wahabism has catered to your needs. Like in schools in Saudi Arabia where exercise is forbidden for girls so as not to make their hymen break out of "strenuous activity", you can now feel good about popping that Hershey Bar in your mouth while flicking the channels on the satellite dish. (Arab News article here)
And they say Wahabism is oppressive to women! Look at all the perks...