May 04, 2006

Stockholm, Tweezers and "Fresh, Muslim Women"

Scene 1

I met up with an old friend of mine today for coffee in the city centre. We had loads of catching up to do and before sitting down at a café decided to take a walk. The main shopping street in Stockholm being Drottninggatan or Queen Street, we strolled along it eyeing the stores and chatting away like usual. A man comes out of nowhere and walks alongside us.

Man: Weren't you on TV a while back?
Me: Yes...?
Man: It makes me so proud. Ahhh!!!! Clean, fresh, Muslim women!
Me, thinking to myself: What the...??!
Man: You know I am Muslim myself, from Morocco.
Me: ............????!!!!
Man: Ahh you know I'm thinking of getting married and I don't want a mattress like these girls here, you know what I mean?
Me: .....????!!!!
Man: Yeah I'm telling you, no, I want a clean, fresh, Muslim woman!! And she should want lots of kids, ha ha ha you know what I mean? And I'm thinking, should I go back home and get a wife or should I find one here. You know, if I get one in Morocco it means I have to pay 50 000 kr every three years.
Me, by now so dumbfounded I actually wanna know why he needs to pay 50 000 kr: Umm, why 50 000?
Man: Well you see, she will wanna go back every now and then and show her parents what she's got, and if we have kids too, well, then she will wanna show her kids to her parents and you know, I can't be selfish, I am not a selfish man.

Praise the Lord, he is a saint...

Man: Yeah these people here, akhhhhh! Disgusting! They only spread diseases amongst themselves, yeah I'm telling you, don't you believe me?
Me: Hmm, if you say so.
Man (almost jumping up and down while he speaks): Yeah, but there's nothing like a clean, fresh, Muslim woman who wants lots of kids!!! I heard the local Mosque helps people find partners, do you now anything about it?
Me: I don't know anything about that, but I am sure they know Moroccan families (i.e. future victims), maybe you should go talk to them.
Man: Yeah, you know I am at an age where I need to get married, and there's nothing wrong with me you know, (and he takes out his hand and starts counting on his fingers), I have money, my own 3 bedroom apartment, I have my own company that I started, I am a mohtaram (respectful) Muslim, you know what I mean?


What a huge shock he ain't married yet...

Scene 2

We later on enter a café, in dire need of both coffee and tea after that clean, fresh, Muslim woman encounter. So we sit down on a sofa in the Café, sipping our tea and watching people go in and out.

On the same sofa further away, a woman in her mid-forties is sitting alone with a cup of coffee. From the corner of my eye I notice some strange hand movements. I turn my head to my right to see what she's doing.

In her hand, she's holding a tweezer and casually plucking the hairs from under her chin like it was the most natural thing to do in a coffee shop in central Stockholm.

I turned to my friend and gave her one look. We put our coffee and tea down and decided to call it a night.

29 comments:

Tainted Female said...

ROFL! SS! I’ve had a LOT of strange proposals (or even implied proposals), but I have to admit this one tops the cake. You’re CLEAN & FRESH & MUSLIM! LOL!

And as for the woman… I’d have not been able to hold my tongue. Probably ask her whether or not she had a home, with a bathroom that’s got lights & mirror… or something like that. Disgusting.

Destitute Rebel said...

quite an interesting day you had today.

vonaurum said...

Weiredness is all around it seems!

nzm said...

LOL

SS is now CFMW!

Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

Tainted, I'm telling you, although I didn't take it as a direct proposal, his performance definately takes the cake.

D rebel, yes interesting can have many meanings, ey?

Vonaurum, welcome! Haven't seen you here before? Weirdness is all around, let's hope not here though. :)

Nzm, thankyou for reminding me... Perhaps I should name a perfume after me? Picture the ad, and a woman in a headscarf holding the perfume bottle in her hand saying: "CFMW, because you're a clean, fresh, muslim woman".

BuJ said...

hmmm.. interesting.. sometimes it pays to be a guy .. or does it?

i am immune to these prepositions (so far)...

mind you there might exist a blog not so different from this with a post not so different to this one that perhaps talks about something i have done that was not so different to this :)

i hope not, but that's all i can do!

BuJ said...

NZM & SS... need to add ..."because you're worth it and you're a clean, fresh, muslim woman"

nzm said...

haha! I can see the TV ad now!

On a serious note, here's an opinion piece on how things are going in Germany for young Turkish foreign brides.

Nothing new, I know, but it relates to the story that was told to us by our Turkish taxi driver in Berlin the other day.

His family has been in Germany for years. They've noticed a "different kind" of Turkish immigrant in recent years to Germany. They are mainly people who have "stuffed up" their lives in their home countries, emigrate and carry on in the same vein in Germany, bringing discredit to the entire Turkish community with their behaviour.

He's so sick of it that he's considering moving again - and this time to Australia.

Buj - don't worry, when SS manufactures her perfume, she'll also diversify into a men's cologne too. Soon, you can walk the streets with confidence, knowing that you smell like CFMM - because you deserve it!

LOL!

Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

Buj, Lord knows what you're on about! I'm sure if you wear my perfume, you won't be immune to such propositions anymore. Worth a try!

Lol nzm!!! CFMM ey? And guess who will be the clean fresh muslim man in the ad? Any volunteers? Oh? Buj? Sure, no problem. Buj it is.

About the turks in germany, thanx for the link. It is a dusturbing phenomena, the child bride issue and arranged, at times forced, marriages.

We have a rather large population of Turks here, and you will find them very different to the ones perhaps in Germany. Majority of Turks living here have been here since the 60's or 70's. Many grown Turks of the age of 30 or 40 were born here. When it comes to marriage, although Turks in general are very nationalist when it comes to who they marry, it is generally done with the consent of both parties, at a legal age, although young still (at times 18-20 years).

The whole culture and way of looking at women needs a serious change, and that can only come when some religious leaders, the mothers who raise the children and give them their values, start to change the way they talk about and view women. If legislators in Turkey allow a law to exist that permits 9 year old girls to be married off, then something is seriously wrong with the society as a whole and it means there is a silent acceptance for the practice on a higher ruling and legislating level.

BuJ said...

nooooooooooooooooo!

i don't wanna end up like SS..
no TV for me..

i'm even considering shutting down the buj al arab

Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

Sho shut down?

nzm said...

Buj - you can't desert us just as we come up with an ad campaign that involves you as our male stud muffin walking the streets in confidence and reeking of CFMM - c'mon where's your sense of adventure? :-)

Yeah - SS - the taxi driver was from one of the older German Turkish immigrants - that's why he's so upset at the "new" Turks coming in to make everything difficult for the more established families.

Silent acceptance is a killer, and a disease of the oppressed.

BuJ said...

i know u mean well, but sometimes i feel i'm dealing with morons.

i do not like dealing with morons.

walking the streets for the CFMM cause sounds good to me though, as it's an offline activity.

Destitute Rebel said...

Hey Shaira, change the poll. I wanna vote on a new issue.

Arabized said...

hahah what the heck....

thats strange. ok i have a similiar story with a morocan man approaching me but it takes place in las vegas. I was there with my dad because he had a conference to attend to and he asked me to come along.

So i take a break between the conferences and i do a little sight seeing. I was minding me own buisness when i hear someone say, 'mashallah'. I look around and there is this sleazy looking guy smiling at me. I begin shifting around, the guy made me feel so nervous. He says salamz and i have to reply to it, and i begin trying to walk away. The guy kinda blocks my way, and begins asking me where im from and if im married! IMAGINE. Im now freaking out, WHO THE HECK DOES THAT?! AND MIND YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON. I see a cop, and he notices I look so uncomfortable. I finally turn to the moroccan man and say HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO A MUTHIJABA?! AND ON TOP OF THAT IM ENGAGED! (straight up lie) and then he says 'bas mashallah you are so beautiful i couldnt resist and maybe i can change your mind" I was shocked he even said that, and I just walked away and the police man came to me and asked me if that man was bothering me, and i said he was, and the police officer threatened him and walked me to my hotel. THANK GOD FOR AMERICAN POLICE ESCORTS. I mean who does that? freaks.

Koi Pahailee said...

Hi there
that post is hilarious
//clean fresh women// cracks me up
hehehehehehe!
stupid men these dayz.

BuJ said...

aha

Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

nzm, I believe Buj is on board now! lol

Buj, meen moron?

Biz! What's up with Moroccan men ey? Do they learn stuff like that at school? We gotta hand it to them originality and audacity.

Koi pahailee: Welcome! I'm glad ou enjoyed the post. Real life is hillarious, and disturbing at the same time.

Buj: are you agreeing that men are stupid these days by saying "aha"?
Ma biseer...

Aslan said...

Girl! You just missed a chance of a lifetime ;)Tsa, tsa

Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

Good to have you here aslan!

lol yeah I know, how will I survive??

BuJ said...

yes i am.

Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

good

BuJ said...

tozz

Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

feek

BuJ said...

feeki el tozz

Shaykhspeara Sha'ira said...

lissa mowjood?

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